Yesterday, Canada turned 150 years old, so it was a big one. I also had a reason to celebrate – I became a Canadian in this year too, back in March.
So, how does a guy celebrate such an epic milestone that encompasses both the national significance, as well as a great personal development journey that I am currently experiencing? Well, conventional wisdom would suggest that you do something mature, something cultured, perhaps have a dinner party, or enjoy the fireworks display from a multi storey building where there is a cocktail party being held.
Well, that’s not me! Fuck that. The only thing I could think of was to go to the dollar store, and create an outfit made almost entirely of Canada day decorations, or other novelty materials that you can buy there. So the search began.
We went to one cheap outlet in Moose Jaw. They didn’t have much but I did pick up a hat and a Canada towel in the form of a flag. This could be termed a tolag, or a fowel if you prefer. Anyway, that was the start of the ensemble. We got some directions from a lady who told us to go to the Dollar Store. We headed back to our camp and jumped in the car to go find it.
I imagined an outfit made of happy Canada day tape or ribbons, or those flags on a string kind of thing. I ended up with a red hula skirt, a couple of key ring maple leaf/Canada flag things, and a thing you put around your neck to hold them, and a red and a white plastic lay for around my neck. This was topped off with a silly Canada cap that had moose horns coming out of it.
I already had my red man thong in my bag so that was the natural choice for underwear. I was pretty nervous when I got into this thing to realise that the hula skirt was um, not providing too much coverage. More of a teaser really and you could see my arse no trouble at all! I think it was the perfect length too! Kinda short. I felt just a bit slutty. The whole deal was sealed with a few strategically placed Canada type tattoo transfers you get from the store. I was ready to rock-it! How did it feel? Breezy, light, and um, very bare!
So we drove to the main park where the festivities were happening. There was a band playing and there were lots and lots of people there and I was quite nervous getting out of the car and walking on the foot path up the street to the park. Pretty much as soon as I got out of the car, a few people had already tooted their horns! But this is not the sort of thing you can half-do, so I continued on, feigning an air of confidence.
So there were some reactions! Some people smirked, some laughed, some people just looked in (horror/amazement/unbridled lust?). I had people fist pump the air and I had people come up and say hi and shake my hand and chat. One lady came up to talk to me with her husband and wanted to see if I had anything underneath my hula skirt. I was able to demonstrate that no equipment was going to be displayed that should not be in such a setting.
We settled in for a bit. We played Frisbee, grooved to a band, and watched the overhead jets make three passes of the park. It was a fun day and certainly outside my normal ‘comfort level’ activity (disclaimer, that’s a pretty wide berth right there, because there is a lot of shit that I would do that others would probably not attempt).
Generally speaking, it was a bit of fun, and that’s how people reacted, a mix of amusement and general curiosity. But then, that’s what Canada is all about – being free to be yourself.
Happy Canada day!