It was the weekend. I had gotten done with my morning workout, or was it yoga? I don’t remember it was a few days ago. It must have been weights because I went up to the yoga room to meditate. I was feeling very content and composed. It was a very cold day. A kind of ice-fog had settled over the city. It dulled the morning light and you could only see through it for about 100 metres or so.
During my meditation I had a thought – I wanted to write my kids a card. A sort of going away type card – even though they are going away and I am staying. I love my kids very much. Things have been strained at home, with all the domestic bullshit that their mum and I have been going through.
I told them, in the cards that I wrote out, that I love them. That I will always be their dad, and I am here to pick up the relationship when ever they are ready to do so. I also apologized for any upset or anger I caused them.
I did this, with a very clear and calm place. Actually it was Starbucks on a weekend so it was moderately busy, but within myself I was clear and calm. Content. At peace with myself and the world.
I took these cards home and handed them to my kids. I didn’t expect a red carpet reception. I kind of expected them to disregard me, or throw the cards away. They said they can’t read hand writing (WTF? I really need to have a word to the Canadian school system!) and so, I read it out to them.
Of course, they kind of tossed them aside. I can’t be sure, but I think, maybe, just maybe that had a positive effect on them, because later I spent the afternoon with #1 son at the trampoline park, and my daughter was being moderately-a-bit-less-nasty to me, so I’ll take that as a win!
Hi bloggers. Since coming back from my road trip I have had the week at work to settle back into a routine. Extra early starts in the morning, and other issues sometimes take my energy that I would like to put into a workout, but I did get a few sessions in..
Last night I went to gym before taking No. 1. Son to the movies – we saw The Hitman’s Bodyguard in case you were wondering. It was a fun brainless kind of movie experience.
So the work out I did last night was this: I’m in my lower weight/higher rep cycle of 6 work outs (A-F). This one is work out E – mix up. I will say that lowering your weight and increasing your reps is a good way to give yourself a break from lifting heavy, and it totally punishes your muscles and I have found that ‘the ache’ can hang around for a few days on some muscle groups. This week my calves and my abs have felt the burn long after the final set was done…. that’s a good sign!
My wonderful daughter turns 12 today. Twelve years ago I was at a country town hospital – Biloela in Central Queensland. My wife had been in labour over night. She was born in the morning – around 7 am. I was the first person to hold her, except perhaps for my wife. I remember I cried tears of joy. I was so happy. I called my sister and my parents and I told them about our new baby girl. I was happy and recall trying to talk clearly to my sister but being kind of choked by happy tears – if that is even possible.
We have our moments, my daughter and I. She’s growing up to be a young woman. Sometimes I hardly recognise her. She’s beautiful, and sweet and all the things I could hope for.
Today was leg day. I wore my new long tights I bought on line, so that was a bit of fun. Here’s my workout: Following the general Arnie written split workout deal…. loosely following.
Squats: 6 sets of 15, 10, 8, 6, 4, 4.
Leg extensions, 5 sets of 10 reps.
Leg curls, 6 sets of 15, 10, 8, 8, 6.
Sit ups 3 sets of 25, 15, 10.
Calf raises, 3 sets of 10.
Straight leg deadlift, 3 sets of 10.
It was a good work out.
My daughter hugged me!
It’s her 12th birthday tomorrow. I woke her this morning to ask what she wanted for her birthday. I was kind of surprised, she didn’t even yell at me! So that’s the plan here today, I will be taking her shopping and get something that she would like. One small step for fatherhood, one giant leap for this dad!
I was also reflecting on the past few months. I had a chat with the ex – with kids being noisy in the background, but a chat all the same. Sometimes its good to talk. A few months ago I was really not doing too good. I was struggling a bit. Ok, a lot perhaps. Strangely, within myself I felt pretty good but all around me there was chaos and upset….
All self caused, and I’m ok with that too. Major changes are tough – especially on those around you. I’ve had to modify a few things in my life and I’ve had some learnings about what works and what causes upset. I don’t have any regrets. None. Its just a matter of living and learning and finding your true path.
So its probably worth a quick list of the things I am thankful for:
I am loved.
I have two wonderful healthy children.
I have an ex who cares about me.
I have a job. It pays well.
I have a new boss, and so far the arrangement is very decent.
I have my health.
I enjoy keeping fit and working out.
I have family that cares for me (even if I disappoint sometimes!)
I have eyesight.
I have mental faculties that allow me to express myself, to write, to draw, to play music, to dance!
I have a car, that runs, and its cheap on petrol!
I have two wonderful dogs in my life.
I could probably keep going but I hear people dry retching so I will quit now!
WordPress readers and bloggers, you get a hug! Namaste.
So our daughter is learning to ride a skateboard. I bought a long-board type skateboard a few years ago on a family vacation in Kelowna, BC. To be honest, it hasn’t been ridden too much, with all the grown up bullshit like jobs, bills, raising kids, arguments, work, travel, and the kitchen sink (literally).
I was kind of impressed when the daughter asked for me to take her to the skate park earlier this week. I thought ‘this is great, a chance to connect with her on something that I am really excited about!’ My faith in the father-daughter relationship, with all the challenges of her age, and mine was restored.
I used to ride a skateboard a lot as a teenager. It was the late 1980’s and there was a skateboard boom. If you weren’t around for it, let me tell you, skateboarding, and Guns and Roses was pretty much my staple go-to’s for attitude and rebellion. Isn’t it funny how much life changes as we grow older and gain more responsibility and expectations on us increase? Skating in the mall parking lot, being chased by security guards, setting up a slide rail outside the bank, or exploring some drains was all part of my mis-spent youth.
Today, as we took the dogs for a walk and the daughter rode the skateboard, I watched her slip off the skateboard, and do an awkward splits such that her ankle was bent and some skin was scraped off her knee. We told her to get up, that’s all part of the learning-to-ride process. So, with all my apparent wisdom, it got me thinking. What life lessons does a young person get from skateboarding? Of course these are poetic analogies, and when you are a teenager, you wont give a shit anyway, but I thought it would make for a nice blog.
Lessons in life from a 40 something ex-skateboarder. Here’s what you learn:
Balance. A very important life skill. Much aspired to, often we don’t get it right.
Risk taking. Yes, as in skateboarding, it is as in life too. If you want to experience joy, fun, adrenalin, and growth, you have to take risks. Hopefully, those risks would be managed, and you avoid doing completely stupid shit, like setting your board up on a hill that enters a busy intersection…..
There will be scrapes and bruises. Yes, I think in skateboarding, and in life, this shit happens.
Persistence. If you want to be good at something, you can’t do it once and expect to be awesome, everything takes time to master. Get good at something, and you are free to enjoy it more fully.
Commitment. When you start at the top of a hill or ramp, there is no half-in. As you push off, you are going to do it, including risk of landing on your arse or losing skin. Same with life really, half commit to anything, and you get half arsed results.
The joy of doing something for the simple pleasure of doing it. A very important lesson, because if you find a passion, you will have fun in the journey of life.