Searching for a room, and other personal business….

Hi Bloggers,

It’s a gorgeous day in Saskatoon. I plan to get out an enjoy it today.

Following on from the separation of my marriage, and the subsequent radioactive nuclear fallout that occurs when things get, um, difficult, I had decided that I needed to move out.

Now that, in itself is a big step, and I’m really ok with it. Like I’d be more than happy to have my own place. Without getting into too much detail, the big constraint is cash flow. Yep, hate to say it but I just don’t have an extra $550 to drop on a room every month, with all the bills and shit that I’ve got to pay.

So I spent yesterday searching Kijiji (community online noticeboard) for rooms. I texted and called probably 20 different arrangements, and spent the majority of the day driving around the city to view rooms. What I found was a bit of an eye opener. What you get in the sub $500 range per month is very, very, basic. 4 walls in a basement suite. Shared bathroom. Random assortment of people from all over living there. Some places are just like boarding houses. I thought about what it would mean to leave my bike there, or a laptop computer(!) or a wallet, or anything.

Lets just say that living in our downstairs basement room is pretty sweet. I have access to my kitchen, and the food that I pay for, for the family. I can see my kids by walking up the stairs. I can come and go as I please, and asides from the radioactive nuclear fallout that I have been experiencing, this is actually a pretty good arrangement.

So I talked to the T-bird last night. We asked ourselves if we could live in harmony for a few months. In December, she will be returning to Australia with the kids. So that’s what we are working towards. So far, so good.

 

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Can we just be nice to each other, please? Thanks hon. 

 

A blog about the T-bird.

Hi Bloggers,

The T-bird, as I like to call her, is my wife, or ex-wife, or live in mother to my kids, or house-mate, or friend. The fact is, I don’t really know what we are any more. I know we are done being a married couple, and I’m ok with that.

I met her back in 1993. We were at a rodeo in North West Queensland, Australia. I travelled there with some friends, she travelled there with her friends, then, boom, we met. Since then, aside from the past 5 years or so, we’ve been contentedly joined at the hip.

When we met she was pretty, sweet, and sexy. Her blue eyes, pretty face, and lightly tanned complexion were the things that had many guys checking her out. She had a heart of gold, one friend of hers told me, and she was right. She had a wonderful personality. A kind of innocence, we both did, I guess, I was 19 at the time when we met.

For many years, we lived a very happy life together. Finishing apprenticeships, moving to the coast of North Queensland for a life of barrier reef island work and beaches and tropical rain and our horses. We’ve moved a bunch. To go to university, and to support my career moves and need to support a young family.

We travelled a lot, went camping, overseas trip, bought houses, made friends, lived in different towns and cities. It was a good life, all around. Kids came along, and we settled in to the things that young parents do. Cleaning up puke and shitty nappies, and sleepless nights, and also all the wonderful things that come with having kids.

At some point, I realised that things had changed. We were living on the other side of the world. The light that shone within her as a younger woman had faded. I can’t really put my finger on it. I was working long hours on the mine site. She appeared somewhat withdrawn and often cranky. I drifted off, in my own way. The contrast was that I felt like I was coming into my own – physically, career, emotionally, I had become a man in my prime, and I felt like she was in a different head space.

I realised – all the fun in our life seemed to be gone.

I checked out of the marriage. I acted like a rebellious teen. I did things married guys aren’t supposed to do. I was kind of off the rails, in terms of our marriage.

So some time has gone by. My outlook on being married has never really been the same. I still love my wife/ex-wife/housemate/friend, I still care about her. I want her to be happy. I really do. I want her to be safe, and to take care of herself and our kids. She’s been a wonderful companion and partner for many years. I am grateful for her support and friendship. I hope we can continue to be civil and respectful to each other, even though the circumstances are a bit strained.

 

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The T bird. A great friend, mother, and marriage partner. Best wishes, hon.