The T-bird, as I like to call her, is my wife, or ex-wife, or live in mother to my kids, or house-mate, or friend. The fact is, I don’t really know what we are any more. I know we are done being a married couple, and I’m ok with that.
I met her back in 1993. We were at a rodeo in North West Queensland, Australia. I travelled there with some friends, she travelled there with her friends, then, boom, we met. Since then, aside from the past 5 years or so, we’ve been contentedly joined at the hip.
When we met she was pretty, sweet, and sexy. Her blue eyes, pretty face, and lightly tanned complexion were the things that had many guys checking her out. She had a heart of gold, one friend of hers told me, and she was right. She had a wonderful personality. A kind of innocence, we both did, I guess, I was 19 at the time when we met.
For many years, we lived a very happy life together. Finishing apprenticeships, moving to the coast of North Queensland for a life of barrier reef island work and beaches and tropical rain and our horses. We’ve moved a bunch. To go to university, and to support my career moves and need to support a young family.
We travelled a lot, went camping, overseas trip, bought houses, made friends, lived in different towns and cities. It was a good life, all around. Kids came along, and we settled in to the things that young parents do. Cleaning up puke and shitty nappies, and sleepless nights, and also all the wonderful things that come with having kids.
At some point, I realised that things had changed. We were living on the other side of the world. The light that shone within her as a younger woman had faded. I can’t really put my finger on it. I was working long hours on the mine site. She appeared somewhat withdrawn and often cranky. I drifted off, in my own way. The contrast was that I felt like I was coming into my own – physically, career, emotionally, I had become a man in my prime, and I felt like she was in a different head space.
I realised – all the fun in our life seemed to be gone.
I checked out of the marriage. I acted like a rebellious teen. I did things married guys aren’t supposed to do. I was kind of off the rails, in terms of our marriage.
So some time has gone by. My outlook on being married has never really been the same. I still love my wife/ex-wife/housemate/friend, I still care about her. I want her to be happy. I really do. I want her to be safe, and to take care of herself and our kids. She’s been a wonderful companion and partner for many years. I am grateful for her support and friendship. I hope we can continue to be civil and respectful to each other, even though the circumstances are a bit strained.