Morning Wood 4. Working the cucumber…

**** Adult content. Explicit material. ****

Hi Bloggers.

So since I am in a different um, relationship status these days (not really single, not really polyamorous, not really married, not really anything…), I have had the opportunity to find myself again.

So a little bit of history/male sexuality if you like. I’m early forties. That’s a golden age for a man, in my opinion. Let me explain why: it’s because I have better control. I can keep it up for an extended period during sexual intercourse. Actually, as much as I don’t like to admit it, sometimes I can even lose the wood during sex. Normally I just need to chill for a bit, and I can get back to it to finish the job. Normally that ends in a sweaty hot mess for me, and the lady is generally well taken care of. In fact, some mornings, I don’t come at all, and can provide extended pleasure without that reflex reaction that causes a man to come.

But its kind of weird. It’s inconsistent. How is it that I can fuck for 45 mins to an hour straight in an early morning romp, penetrating a woman in various ways, without coming, yet I can sometimes stroke myself off and get it done within a few minutes?

If I look back to when I was a lad, I would masturbate daily. Sometimes could be more than once a day. This was consistently the pattern through my teens, and into my twenties. Being married meant that I could indulge in sex on a more regular basis, but I would always supplement with masturbation perhaps a few times a week. I felt that it was different – like a nice alternative to sex. A more personal experience, with myself, if you will.

As for sex when I was younger, it was hard not to come. Many times there was a disappointed wife when I got done in maybe a few minutes. Not always the case, but often enough. For the ladies reading this, the reflex is like sneezing. You can try not to sneeze, but at some point it becomes involuntary. If you are going to come, you are going to come. As a young man, there is no chasing it, trying to focus, forcing it or wishing you could. Its going to happen. As you get older, the reflex sensation becomes less intense, perhaps more controllable, and sometimes even elusive.

So when you are having a lot of sex, its no surprise that you get drained. You don’t have the juice to masturbate much, because you’re getting tapped. It’s a good place to be of course. But that’s not where I am today, and I’m ok with it.

So for the last couple of days, I feel like I’ve had the mojo returning to me. It happens when you are relaxed/content/confident and all of that. Some mornings are just harder, fuller. I woke with a really full cock. I rolled around in bed for a bit. I sleep alone downstairs. I pressed my hard cock into the mattress and could feel a kind of pushing back on my cock from the bed. It felt really good.

I rolled onto my back and placed my thumb and fingers onto the head of my penis. Due to the hardness it felt full and large. I could feel the ridge of the glans standing proudly over the shaft. I took a moment to feel that sensation. The feel of my glans against my fingers and thumb, and the stimulation of my hand on my cock. I worked it up and down gently, gripping the skin on the shaft and sliding that over the head and back down. Its an amazing organ, the cock. A kind of self lubricating system that has skin that can roll over the head. Some drops of pre-come had leaked from the eye.

Pretty soon I was working it a little faster. My mind visiting my favoured erotic thoughts. I have lots of go-to fantasies, but I’m not ready to share the details of those. Soon I could feel a kind of wonderful pressure building. I let out a light moan and using a cloth that I held above my cock I let out an almighty gush of semen in a rhythmic pulse, and again and again. When you come a lot, the pleasure is more intense. It was wonderful, satisfying and relieving all at once.

 

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Source: WikiHow. Disclaimer, this is not my cucumber, or my hand, it is merely a reference to get your dirty minds to imagine my cucumber, in my hand… 

 

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Cream. For representational effect only. I think you get it. 😉 

 

 

Dancing in the Dark…

Hi Bloggers, I went to the dragon boat races today in Saskatoon. I was in a team from my work and we competed against a bunch of other teams in three different heats. It was fun and a nice warm day and a good way to mix with work colleagues and others.

As I was leaving, an iconic song came over the loudspeakers. It was Bruce Springsteen’s Dancing in the Dark. It’s got such an infectious groove. I was a kid of about 10 when it came out in 1984. I remember it well. I remember hearing it on the TV or the radio. That, along with Born in the USA, and some other stuff that was getting around at that time.

Hearing it reminded me of what are really well crafted pop/rock song that it is. I watched the video too (link below). The first thing you notice is how fresh faced our Bruce looks. He was 34 years old when he recorded this. On the video you could be forgiven for thinking he was maybe 25.

He’s got that swagger, that cheeky arrogance. A handsome face and suggestive smile and a pair of snug jeans. Women no doubt were just taken by the whole thing, and why not? But that’s not all, he was kind of approachable. He had the whole blue collar down-and-out working dog kind of image that people across the US and the world could relate to, because, well, maybe he’s just like most of us….

Reading up on the net, I learned that the film clip was recorded over two nights at St Paul, Minnesota. The girl that he pulls up on stage, that’s Courtney Cox, as in Courtney Cox who later went on to star in the 90’s sitcom Friends. I had no idea!

I like how the song has a kind of double entandra with the one side of the coin being about a guy who’s kinda lonely, and just wants to have some company, while the other side of the coin hints at a lusty young man with a gun for hire…. And the dancing in the dark, is that like, actually dancing, or is this some loaded suggestion about what happens when the lights go off after bedtime????

The synth riff, and the dreamy sax solo at the end really top it off!

Anyway, enough of my bullshit, let’s allow Bruce to lay it down

Video sourced from YouTube.

A blog about the T-bird.

Hi Bloggers,

The T-bird, as I like to call her, is my wife, or ex-wife, or live in mother to my kids, or house-mate, or friend. The fact is, I don’t really know what we are any more. I know we are done being a married couple, and I’m ok with that.

I met her back in 1993. We were at a rodeo in North West Queensland, Australia. I travelled there with some friends, she travelled there with her friends, then, boom, we met. Since then, aside from the past 5 years or so, we’ve been contentedly joined at the hip.

When we met she was pretty, sweet, and sexy. Her blue eyes, pretty face, and lightly tanned complexion were the things that had many guys checking her out. She had a heart of gold, one friend of hers told me, and she was right. She had a wonderful personality. A kind of innocence, we both did, I guess, I was 19 at the time when we met.

For many years, we lived a very happy life together. Finishing apprenticeships, moving to the coast of North Queensland for a life of barrier reef island work and beaches and tropical rain and our horses. We’ve moved a bunch. To go to university, and to support my career moves and need to support a young family.

We travelled a lot, went camping, overseas trip, bought houses, made friends, lived in different towns and cities. It was a good life, all around. Kids came along, and we settled in to the things that young parents do. Cleaning up puke and shitty nappies, and sleepless nights, and also all the wonderful things that come with having kids.

At some point, I realised that things had changed. We were living on the other side of the world. The light that shone within her as a younger woman had faded. I can’t really put my finger on it. I was working long hours on the mine site. She appeared somewhat withdrawn and often cranky. I drifted off, in my own way. The contrast was that I felt like I was coming into my own – physically, career, emotionally, I had become a man in my prime, and I felt like she was in a different head space.

I realised – all the fun in our life seemed to be gone.

I checked out of the marriage. I acted like a rebellious teen. I did things married guys aren’t supposed to do. I was kind of off the rails, in terms of our marriage.

So some time has gone by. My outlook on being married has never really been the same. I still love my wife/ex-wife/housemate/friend, I still care about her. I want her to be happy. I really do. I want her to be safe, and to take care of herself and our kids. She’s been a wonderful companion and partner for many years. I am grateful for her support and friendship. I hope we can continue to be civil and respectful to each other, even though the circumstances are a bit strained.

 

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The T bird. A great friend, mother, and marriage partner. Best wishes, hon. 

 

 

Thankful, and exercising Grace … Never had so much fun!

Grace, I copied the Google definition below.

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Here’s the google definition:

grace
ɡrās/
noun

1.
simple elegance or refinement of movement.
“she moved through the water with effortless grace”
synonyms:
elegance, poise, gracefulness, finesse; More
suppleness, agility, nimbleness, light-footedness

Ok, what’s the point? Well, um, I had to exercise some grace today. I had my work performance review. I got some feedback. Some balanced feedback to be fair. Some good, and some very challenging to accept. But it was not new, my boss is decent and he believes in no surprises when it comes to performance reviews, so I was prepared.

The reflection I had been doing on my own interactions in the world and at work, and my meditations, and recent developments all put me a good place to accept what was discussed, and I hope I did this with grace. When you get some critical feedback, going to defensive mode or lashing out isn’t really the preferred option…..

So I also had a chat with J. She has been many things to me in the past three years (mother, lover, friend, partner in crime). I love her. Things have to change, its all tied together in a work/life/family/situation matrix. I don’t think I can be what she wants me to be at this time and it would be unfair to allow her to believe that my head and heart are in the same place that they once were.

When we are faced with a need for change, and our hearts and minds are not ready to let go, the situation can become tense and even hostile. During our chat tonight, I probably got a little defensive and frustrated. I was busy protecting my ego. She may have expressed some anger and frustration too.

But what we resolved is that we want to remain friends, who support each other. We still have a value to bring to each other, and I think that’s the essence of a good relationship. The distance, the baggage, the complications, the schedules, the emotional upsets, its all too much for the current environment (or headspace?) I’m in, or creating, to be the right fit for us both now, but fuck! we had some fun! Like, really!

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For my friend J, with loving-kindness. 

 

Here’s where I give her credit. She handled it with grace. She referenced god as a being for her, that is both challenging her and supporting her – she is leaning on her spirituality and I think that is a beautiful thing. She’s a kind heart, a wonderful soul, a dedicated mother, and I love her for all that she is.

But my life is changing, and I don’t want to disappoint her, or anyone else really, so I need to give myself and her, some time and space.

J, if you are reading this, you’re a game changer, hon. Thank you, for everything….

 

Musings from a Saskatoon Café…. Changes…

Hi Bloggers,

I had a day off yesterday. I went gym, worked out (overhead press, power cleans, one hand dumbbell rows, lunges, high step ups… good workout 😉 ). I had some downtime in the afternoon. It was a warm day. Full sunshine, very little breeze. No bugs. It was approaching perfect, in the shade.

I had a problem with my bike back wheel hub, so I packed that in the car and drove down to a back street near Broadway. I took the wheel into the shop, and an enthusiastic bike repair guy took my wheel and after putting the special tool into the vice, he cranked the wheel by hand a couple of times, and tightened the nut that keeps the sprocket cassette in one piece. Awesome, job done, I can enjoy my bike again. I asked him ‘what’s the damage’ and he replied, ‘no charge’ (thank you again Bike Doctor!).

So I put the bike wheel back in my car boot, and walked on down (as in the Door’s song – but not walked on down the hall – The End…) to the main part of Broadway. In the summer the city really comes alive. There are hipsters, and bearded guys, lgbt folks, families, immigrants, couples, and all types walking the streets. Its a real parade of people.

The city allows cafes and restaurants to extend their outdoor spaces into the parking lane which makes for a nice outdoors area for the several months a year that this climate allows. Its a real treat. I walked into Museo Café and ordered a latte, and a lime cheesecake slice. I took a spot outside, in the shade. Cars drive by in the lane right next to where I was sitting and it was a little disconcerting because you want to glance up each time a bus or truck or car comes by. I thought maybe facing away from the traffic might have been a better strategy.

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The lime cheesecake was divine. I brought my books with me. I flipped through my borrowed copy of ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.’ I’m so inspired by this book I bought my boss a copy as his going away gift. I sure hope he reads it and applies some of the many simple lessons in loving-kindness and inner peace.

So I am going through some changes. We are all going through changes. Change is inevitable. Change is the only constant. One of the simple anecdotal lessons or whatever is the in the book. It says there is a Buddhist teaching (apologising to any Buddhist practitioners that I might offend by my interpretation) … it says that everything comes from something, it is made or formed, and it will return to nothing in time. For instance, a glass may be a glass now, but at some time it was sand or whatever, and in the future it will return to shattered glass, dust or maybe even be recycled to something else. The point is that everything will break, degrade and return to some other state.

We are all temporary, all our belongings are temporary, nothing is absolutely permanent. This provides us with a way of coming to terms with the changes in our lives. I copied the lyrics to David Bowie’s ‘Changes’ because I think that might sum up the situation pretty good right now.

I am grateful for those who have helped me, and continue to help me in my journey. I am remorseful for any harm I have done in any of my actions. I have some work to do as an individual, I am not yet fully developed in some aspects of life.

Hugs to all. Hands to heart centre. The light in me honours the light in you. Namaste.

saskatoon cafe 15 Jul 2017

Source MetroLyrics http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/davidbowie/changes.html

“Changes” David Bowie

I still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
And every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Where’s your shame
You’ve left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can’t trace time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace
I’m going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strange)
Ch-ch-changes
Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time

Yoga in the Park.

Hi Bloggers,

Today, I went to  free Yoga in the park. It was hosted by The Better Good Yoga in Saskatoon. There was a really large turn out. The sun was shining, and its warming up to be a hot one in this beautiful prairie city.

First time for outdoor yoga for me. The sun filtered through the trees above. I put my hands up in some poses, partly to block the suns rays in my line of sight, and partly to absorb some of the wonderful energy beaming down on us.

When we were instructed to set an intention for the practice, as usual, I decided to focus on practicing compassion, and giving and receiving love, as much as possible.

Today’s Workout, and some words of compassion…

8 jul 2017 2

Hi Bloggers,

Today’s workout:

Squats

Calf raises

Alternating dumbbell curls

ezy bar bicep curls

Cross over (Zane) curls.

I had a really good work out.

Be kind, be kind to yourself, be kind to others. Do one act of kindness. Let someone know how much you mean to them, even if the situation has been challenging. 

Be yourself, don’t compromise who you are, and allow others to adjust to the person that you are becoming, if you are going through changes. 

Love and hugs. Namaste.

8 jul 2017

The Story of the Good Ship ‘Lollipop’

So last week I was camping. It was pretty cool. We drove to a lake. It was several hours from Saskatoon, so by the time I picked up the package from the airport and drove north it was about 2 am when we rolled into the campsite. I had never been there before so it was a whole new experience.

The ride up was kind of nice. We were on provincial back roads. Almost no traffic at all at that time of night. We caught glimpses of northern lights – a green curtain of misty fog that dances slowly in the sky. It was also almost permanent twilight with the summer solstice just the day before. It never gets completely dark at this latitude and time of year, its as if the sun has gone down and won’t go away completely. It’s quite nice.

At the lake we did some crazy shit. Found a private dock thing to lay out in the sun. On the way back to the main camp area we traversed the lake ‘shore’ but it became a bit of a battle of sticks and wire and other obstacles because the lake water level was very high. I had found a paddle on the lake shore earlier in the day, and I scored another one up in the tangle of branches on the obstacle course getting back.

The good ship lollipop – she was a bit of a wreck. Half submerged and covered in sand and other lake debris. It looked like a hopeless case. Like us really. We tipped the crap out of it and bailed a bunch of water out. There were leaches in there and we had to scrape a shitload of what looked like fish eggs off the inside.

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She was in poor shape when we found her, with no captain or crew.

 

Once we got that done we realised, we had righted the ship, and she appeared seaworthy! We came back loaded up with towels and bags, and snacks and sunscreen. I was wearing my black man thong, because really, there’s no need to overdress for something like this. We took off and did a sort of oar paddle and peddle (because she is a paddle boat with peddles).  It was fairly efficient but she was lacking seats so my arse slid back a lot and sometimes she went in circles.

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But it did provide a fairly stable and even relaxing floating platform on which we could enjoy the lake!

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Lets go sailing!

 

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Out on the lake late at night it was so still, so serene.

 

 

Most Epic Campsite – Ever.

Hey Bloggers, here are some photos from my camping trip last week. We were looking for somewhere to pitch a tent. Wasn’t too fussy – could have been in an open field, a rail siding, or whatever. The main criteria was that it was to be away from anywhere people would come by, and cost nothing.

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So we found a spot. Its part of a village museum. Technically not supposed to camp there but, whatever. There was no one else around, except for a farmhouse on the other side of the grid road. We drove for about 20 km up a grid road off a lonely stretch of provincial highway to get to this spot. It was really out of the way.

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We debated for a while where the tent should be set up, I wanted tucked in behind the church, we settled on a spot in a kind of depression in the lawn bbq area. It was really nice. We even got a fire going and cooked some dinner.

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I got some great photos of the old church and graveyard as the sun was going down and again in the early morning as the sun rose. It was the most epic camping spot, because we took a gamble and broke a few rules! 

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“Here comes the sun, little darling…. “
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This is the basic travel/camp kit. You really don’t need any more than this, really!

 

Today’s workout, and other wisdom shared… Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff!

 Bloggers, here is the work out I did today. I really enjoyed it but I felt a tweak in my right knee when bending and flexing, so I’ll be paying attention to that so it doesn’t become a long term injury, fingers crossed!

July 6

Combo lat raises with overhead press dumbbell
Wide grip chin up
Cable cross over chest pulls
Bent over rows
Push ups with feet on bench

Ok, now for the wisdom part…

I got a book from the library called ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.’ I highly recommend it. One chapter in the book described a really good concept.

Imagine that everyone else in your life is perfectly enlightened, and you, are not enlightened at all…..

Take a moment to let that sink in. You know what it does? It helps you to listen, to ask questions, and to refrain from jumping in and telling other people how it is, which is what we spend a lot of time doing. The net effect is that all of your interactions are less adversarial, and you will see the tension disappear from your conversations and conflicts. Plus, its humbling as anything, you just have to take a back seat, and sometimes that is refreshing.

Having said that, it doesn’t mean that you relinquish power, or compromise your values, you just spend more time trying to understand, rather than being understood.

Try it out – today!!!!!

Peace, and Namaste.