Lets take a moment to discuss reality. Grittiness. So I shared my blog with J Bird, bless her cotton socks, she was pretty decent about it. T Bird had already been reviewing my posts, and thankfully, she seems quite supportive too, thank you ladies.
So, one of the points of feedback for me was, am I attempting to create some sort of idealization of my life? Projecting only the good aspects, rather than the whole picture? Well readers, rest assured, this is not about displaying perfection. Life is a full contact sport, and when you make choices like mine, sometimes, no fuck it, often, there are conflicts and challenges. When for instance, you love two people; there is a more or less constant state of tension between the parties (including myself, I have feelings too). It ranges from flat out spitefulness and anger to loving support that cannot exist without the intimate bonds that we share.
I’m not suggesting that what I am doing feels wrong, no, no, no; or that I have regrets, I don’t. But the fact is, where the heart, mind and body are being applied and values are being challenged both within existing relationships, developing new ones, and having to face the outside world, you can fuckin’ bet that its gonna get interesting. So, some stuff is not for posting, I still want to respect those I care about and myself too. Therefore, I won’t be posting about the details of the argument that I had last night, or the night before, or the one I had the other day, or how this has been the biggest roller coaster that makes you want to laugh and cry and dance and puke and run away, and be held tightly.
Also, as per life, as per all interactions, there are a range of experiences from sublime, awesome, regrettable, scary, emotional, frustrating etc. Its not all good and its not all bad. For me personally, its about self-realisation. Becoming the full human being.
As a closer, I am not looking for either sympathy or support. If you don’t appreciate my choices, that’s your prerogative. I’m blogging about my experience in life because its a great creative outlet. You either get it or you don’t.